The "let it out" thread.

To prove this thread isn't dead, I'll do something that I don't find very comfortable to do - share about myself.

I struggle deeply with depression and anxiety, it used to be rather bad as I've contemplated suicide in the past. The worse part is that I let it affect nearly every avenue of my life. An example is school where I often struggle despite high test scores and an elevated IQ. I very quickly get discouraged and, because of the resulting boredom, I lose focus.

I've developed an "ah, *** it" attitude towards life and it can be debilitating, now that I've wasted enough of your time I'll take my leave.

I'm the same way, Pendant, same backstory too. I've also gotten a very "not very impressed by anything", we went to Old Faithful, the Grand Canyon, Vegas, and the Devil's Rock and it all was just..... meh. My brother took me skydiving and white water rafting and I still barely felt anything from either of those.


Hang in there, Tart. Finish school and you'll be set, because life isn't like school; it's much better, in my opinion. One thing you need to do, though, is sit next to someone. Pick the nicest girl/guy in your class, and just try to talk to someone. Either they will talk to you, or people will start to realize you are trying to talk to people.
Just don't get too attached. Not saying don't be friends, but I got WAAAAAAAAAAY too attached and to my everlasting shame pretty much became a stalker to this poor girl who was actually brave and kind enough to talk to me during my depression years.

But if you don't start talking to people in high school, you'll be in the same boat I'm in in college; I don't know how to make small talk with people, so those I try to talk to think I'm creepy, and the people who try to talk to me think I'm uninterested. If you can start talking to people in high school, you might fare better.

Boy can I relate.

Sometimes I think if I just up and left, no one would care.

I wrote a poem very personal to me I'd like to share with you Pendant.

What Hurts the Most

Pricking your finger or smacking your hand?
It is not these but when your heart will not band.

Some find comfort in knowing for sure,
but how do you know if the thought is impure?

When you think to yourself, "at my death they will mourn",
ever so briefly their soul hardly scourned.

Sure they will cry and be at a loss,
But deep down inside their feelings are frost.

Their lives will be better when you're not around,
the act of your dying in joy they have found.

It is hard to believe and say it ain't so,
when the past it is rooted in the seeds we have sewn.

So no reason to live or no reason to care,
is what hurts the most making life seem unfair.

Thanks, guys.

There is no time to be wasted here in Off-Topic, here time stops.

In all seriousness: Don't think that you wasting anyone's time here, I'm sure a lot of us care if you are willing to share something about yourself here.

My oldest son is autistic, and the youngest might be. Its too early to tell.

Sometimes I've been so depressed, that I actually wanted to admit it, talk about it, and maybe solve some issues.

But you know what I've realized? Most people want an easy life. They don't want to solve issues or discuss the difficult things.

Most people want to sweep things under a rug and address issues when the need arises. They are called normal.

Normals piss me off. But in the end, I know that I'm addressing the hard issues like, "How much life insurance do I need in case something should happen...he is autistic ya know?" or "Well, do I keep my job or home school. Ya it would suck and my yearly trips to Hawaii might suffer, but what is best for him?" "Do I even put him in a school environment???...How bad a bullying really gotten?"

These questions have started arguements all through my family. I've been pissed for awhile about these things.

So in the end I say $#@$% the normals. I'm an intellectual and in the end I'm probably right anyway. I'm asking for advice. Telling people, "Hey, I've been stressing with my kid lately." Trying to seek the correct choice. Not necessarily the one I like.

Knowing I've taken it personally has given me the resiliance to say %$#@ it and move on. If people in your life make you feel depressed because you're depressed, then ignore them. They are at fault.

Let it out here, or find someone to talk to. There's nothing worse than feeling like a burden, especially when you're probably the glue holding things together at times.

AND TOTALLY WHAT GRIN JUST SAID, I FEEL BAD OVERPOSTING HIM.

Please don't feel bad, that's not what this thread is for. It's for helping people in the most simple of ways by letting them "let out" everything that may be bottled up.

Unfortunately those things happen way to often Tart. It's a pretty *** up world we live in.

Unfortunately it's everywhere :/ I just hope the legal system where you live won't go easy on him.

ok so i know this will be a dumb question but when you get upset or mad do ya'll find yourselves going to music? i do and i find it really helps me when i get depressive especially when i listen to hour long music mixes. how bout ya'll?

twilightwarwolf wrote:ok so i know this will be a dumb question but when you get upset or mad do ya'll find yourselves going to music? i do and i find it really helps me when i get depressive especially when i listen to hour long music mixes. how bout ya'll?

I believe that songs have an amazing power. When you're upset, a Metal rock song can make you even more enraged, but at the same time it can make you sing, explode for a bit and get rid of the stress


Another good way to calm down is listen to a calm song. Not something depressing, but simple and neutral soundtracks, like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMWTyxrBgRU

i need to get something off my chest so hear me out for a sec. ive been having an odd week to say the least and actually my whole life feels like its been upside down since my parents left to go have my mom get shots for her back and since i didnt have spring break i couldnt go.

so what did i do i stayed at a friends and although it was arlight i cant help but feel i forced my friend into an akward position when i asked him and then when i was over because he said yes. so during when my parents were gone i was going between my house and his and that was definitely wierd not to mention i feel like i REALLY neglected my dogs which i never want to but i feel like i neglect them all the time.
then when they came back it was wierd because i hadnt seen them for a few days and had gotten used to being able to do nothing really. a few days later i got used to them being around again and it was alright but i still felt like i had changed or just felt odd on the inside and that went through the weekend and partially into the next week which then i proceeded to have an awful monday with my highlight being my return home which isnt really a highlight and not to mention i have been having depressive states and ok days but not really been feeling myself. but i ignore it and try tell myself it'll pass and it'll all be like it was and then we come to this week

...ugh... to start my "friend" ( i consider my friends acuantences partially because i havent gotten over the move from last year and becuase it takes me awhile to trust people not to mention most of my friends are seniors and juniors and as a sophmore its odd especially when everyone thinks im a junior or senior) so anyway back to my friend his girlfriend is being adopted by her grandfather who is some christian ( i say it like that as i have no idea what kind of christian because people have to have freakin kind of christian. i swear people are F'in stupid anyway) and my friend being pagan... well you get the idea not to mention they've.. done it and both family's know ( why the hell am i telling people this? ugh im such a moron. i dont know why im even talkin in these parenthesis!). and so now they only get to see each other in his girlfriends church so thats not going to be wierd or anything. i know this isnt really ay of my business but i cant help but feel bad or sad for them becuase they really do seem and act like a great couple. my friend has actually been close to tears several times already! seriously how much more genuine can ya get?

then my same friend today was down talking Steven Hawking by saying he has made 3? (i think he said three but i dont know for sure) big mistakes and has made false evidence and lost to a plumber in a science debate ( which i know he did but that whole debate was over ten years ago i think and from what he knew at the time it makes sense that maybe he wouldnt be right. not to mention that people can be wrong so why SO much hate to a dude who as far as i know doesnt deserve it?!?!?) and the to top it off he said that Europe is in bigger debt to... i cant remember hell maybe he didnt say a country he might have just said in debt and a debt bigger than AMERICA. i called ******** because we owe TRILLIONS to China and that can't be more than Europe but maybe he's right i havent watched any news type thing in awhile and it is possible that others can be in a state like America. And then i was wondering for the remainder of the day two things 1. would a complete nuking of the world be a mercy? ( cant remember my reasonings for that so maybe that was a one time thought) but i came to the concluson that no thats not right and why am i being stupid enough to even think that may be a good thing to do.

and 2. i was thinkng over christianity because of a *** picture i saw on deviant art and what the descrpition said which all and all maybe be ******** but how do i know? i never read the bible through and through because i found it boring until i read revalations and Job which are the only books id WILLINGLY read all of and am interested in. ( not to mention i only consider myself christian plain and simple becuase all these "different" types are bull as they all go to the same thing... or at least thats how it has been in the churches ive gone to which have been different.) So yeah ive screwed myself over on various things not to mention i feel like i cant do ANYTHING at all (IRL) because i dont do anything.

i just got told a few min ago yet again that ive got to start caring for my dog otherwise we may have to put her down. and i dont want her put down but i cant really care for someone if i dont feel like i even love my dog let alone my family (which is another thing ive been feeling for weeks now but ive pondered it over those weeks and more or less recently came to the conclusion). so im a useless mess walking around.
and yeah thats how my past few WEEKS have been going with me fighting this so i can find that light at the end of the tunnel that i keep hearing about but feel like i never see. I apologize for being an attention hog but i had to at least get SOME of how ive been feeling off my chest

No worries on being am attention hog. I can say I've experienced pretty much all of that at one time or another. I don't know if I can offer much advice but I do know that it's usually the people who care enough to think about things like that, that end up being the kind of person the world needs more of

Uh sorry I'll take care of it after school or if get a sec then in a few min

alright ive sectioned it as best i could

Hey Twilight, I skimmed your post a bit and can't help but notice you mentioned devArt. If you have an account there, go to the help section of the forums. I used to be active on devArt and know that there are a lot of people who can give you sound advice. (Just stay away from Complaints, they'll tear you a new one for your spelling and textwalls )

Back on topic though, on your first point, I understand that you care and it is an admirable trait, but don't worry about your friends. They're not your responsibility and frankly, as an outsider, you have no authority over the situation. The sooner you realise this, the sooner you'll have some peace about that. All you can do is be there for your friend.

About your dog, it sucks that you can't take care of your dog, but don't take it too hard. If you can't feel like you love or care enough of your dog to take care of him/her, then the best course of action is to put her up for adoption. Putting her down seems drastic and oftentimes is, and I'm sure there are families out there who'll love the dog. Check with your local animal protection service to see if they can take the dog up and find a good home for it.

Lastly, here's some advice I wish I were given when I was much younger: You come first. Your mental and physical health, happiness and wellbeing comes first. When you've gotten to a point where you're comfortable with who you are and your mental and physical state, that's when you should start taking care of others. Don't let your happiness be defined by the happiness or wellbeing of those you care for.

So I just got a messege from a friend of a friend-who-is-a-girl-whom-I-would-like-to-be-more-than-a-friend-with, saying that she likes me, on facebook. Now, the girl with the really long title has pretty much already rejected me, but still hangs out with me (Friendzone.....)
I don't have any interest in her, I want the other girl..... How am I supposed to break it to her? If I didn't have interest in the first girl, I wouldn't have a second thought about it. But by hanging out with the chick who likes me, I'd be forced to see the girl I like with other dudes....

Go for your friend instead. Just go out on a date and who knows your may just end up liking her.

So I was thinking about something a bit ago that still troubles me to this day. I lost a friend in highschool because of a misunderstanding I think, or perhaps a lack of conviction on my part.

Essentially we once got in a conversation about the rights of people in America, and how certain groups are treated. They belonged to one group that is persecuted while I belong to another. During the conversation I brought up how if I had to focus on the rights of one, I'd focus on the getting the rights for their group. While mine faces persecution, it isn't as severe and it is a lot easier for us to hide who we are. They were outraged by this feeling that it was utterly wrong of me to put any group before another. While I'm a proponent of equality I merely stated that focusing on one at a time is easier when it comes to social progression. All in all it cost me their friendship and has always left me wondering if perhaps I shouldn't try and put the needs of others over my own possible wants.