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    "Pro Tips"

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    Post by Animaaal Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:41 pm

    There's been a lot of new players that have come into the fray.

    Here are some tips that will make you competitive:

    -ALWAYS backstab a bower regardless if you are in a common pvp area or not.  Backstabbing a bow will give you a CLEAR advantage...do I really need to elaborate?

    -Backstab...BACKSTAB...BACKSTAB!!!!! twisted 

    -Always glitch.  There are glitches well known and considered acceptable by the pvp community, but...why stop there?  Did you know you CAN buff your Demon's Spear with DMB?!?!?!  That's right, learn them, and learn them well.

    -Gank.  Its the only reliable way to get souls.

    -Use the mule and edit the save files (ps3).  Talk about advantages!!!!cheers 

    -Lagswitch.  Probably the most underrated and easiest technique to employ.  All you need is a wire, and.......

    -Always use the "Well what is it?" gesture...I mean...who doesn't want to be cool like Giant Dad????

    -NEVER, under any circumstances stop backstabbing.

    -Use Elizabeth Mushrooms and Divine Blessings, its fair game right?!?!

    -Don't ever show respect to anyone.

    DISCLAIMER:

    Ridiculous right?!?!?!
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    Post by Serious_Much Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:44 pm

    You forgot the classic tip of- pick up the biggest, most powerful weapon you can find.. But only hornet ring BS with it, wouldn't want to make it any harder for yourself

    Also- Send lots of hatemail every time you lose. Make sure your opponents know how 7331 you are and how lucky they were to beat you. Usage of profanity and childish insults encouraged but not mandatory.
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    Post by Latitoast Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:52 pm

    Needs more katana flipping.

    0/10 would not follow this advice.
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    Post by Animaaal Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:54 pm

    Serious_Much wrote:... Usage of profanity and childish insults encouraged but not mandatory.....

    EXCELLENT advice.

    However, profanity is often censored.  Try to show how smart you are by circumventing the profanity filter with terms like:

    -funk
    -fluck
    -shyt
    -bich
    -fahg
    -hoemoe
    -unic
    -etc

    @Latitoast

    Bow 

    WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean you %$#@ing %$$#@..........Well What is it
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    Post by Leet Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:12 pm

    Animaaal wrote:-ALWAYS backstab a bower regardless if you are in a common pvp area or not.  Backstabbing a bow will give you a CLEAR advantage...do I really need to elaborate?

    applause
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    Post by FinPeku Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:16 pm

    This is what i've learned from the best pros

    - Remember, everything is cheap. Always complain no matter what your opponent does! If you die, it's because of lag or some dirty cheating. Remember this and you will never have to feel bad about yourself in Lordran.
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    Post by Tolvo Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:18 pm

    Remember, when the Xbox One skype system comes out to instantly begin video chats with people you beat, and hold up a picture of a giant naked man that is attractive for a second then turn it off, so they think you're big stuff.
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    Post by Animaaal Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:39 pm

    FinPeku wrote:This is what i've learned from the best pros

    - Remember, everything is cheap. Always complain no matter what your opponent does! If you die, it's because of lag or some dirty cheating. Remember this and you will never have to feel bad about yourself in Lordran.

    WORD cool

    The only person who's ever beaten me is lag, and he's a **** anyway.

    Tolvo wrote:Remember, when the Xbox One skype system comes out to instantly begin video chats with people you beat, and hold up a picture of a giant naked man that is attractive for a second then turn it off, so they think you're big stuff.

    Thanks for the inspiration…I shall start work on that immediately.  I shall also buy the xbone for this reason alone.

    ***EDIT****

    Use SLB  on a Demon’s Spear…DMB???...what was I thinking?


    ***EDIT2****

    Serious receives my thanks b4lock.
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    Post by KrazykevS10 Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:47 pm

    You forgot to mention that you get extra skill and respect from your opponents for every point your health is above 2508.
    What everyone needs are gold tracers and a few billion stamina.I bow to the MLGness of the guy who figured out the complex tactic of two handing and mashing the light attack button.Never stop swinging unless you are a pusspuss.
    Well What is it
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    Post by reim0027 Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:02 pm

    If you lose, it is obviously the other person's fault. Clearly, he was hacking and an illiterate incoherent PM will serve them right.

    On the flip side, if you win, it was clearly because your skill was the shizzle, untouchable, Olympic, etc. While it should be obvious to anyone and their pet cat your skillz were so good, it would make Chuck Norris weep, an illiterate incoherent PM will elucidate this to the ignorant.

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    Post by BrotherBob Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:26 pm

    Animaaal wrote:-NEVER, under any circumstances stop backstabbing.
    Except to cast KJ-WotG; it's not a "pro" win otherwise.
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    Post by KrazykevS10 Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:31 pm

    Rule #1 - They are ALWAYS jelly of your 1337 skillz.
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    Post by Animaaal Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:57 pm

    KrazykevS10 wrote:.........You forgot to mention that you get extra skill and respect from your opponents for every point your health is above 2508......

    Well What is it 2508??? Well What is it 

    What the.....surprised

    What r u?....casul???? Look Skyward

    Do you even lift? Lift

    reim0027 wrote:If you lose, it is obviously the other person's fault.  Clearly, he was hacking and an illiterate incoherent PM will serve them right.

    On the flip side, if you win, it was clearly because your skill was the shizzle, untouchable, Olympic, etc.  While it should be obvious to anyone and their pet cat your skillz were so good, it would make Chuck Norris weep, an illiterate incoherent PM will elucidate this to the ignorant.


    #SWAG

    Fo shizzle my nizzle. Liturgical competancy is so overrated.  If you expect to be remembered, say things like, “ionceknewthisguyfromnantucket” and “wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww” anything else is semi-pro.

    ^^:

    BrotherBob wrote:
    Animaaal wrote:-NEVER, under any circumstances stop backstabbing.
    Except to cast KJ-WotG; it's not a "pro" win otherwise.


    Quoted 4 truth
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    @Krazy

    1337?!?!?!....If you ain't 2013, you ain't M.L.G....not talking
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    Post by OminousSquaffle Fri Aug 02, 2013 12:00 am

    2edgy4me.

    This must be that darker part of the internet mother warned me about...

    It's scary.

    But I kinda like it.
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    Post by KrazykevS10 Fri Aug 02, 2013 12:04 am

    OminousSquaffle wrote:2edgy4me.

    This must be that darker part of the internet mother warned me about...

    It's scary.

    But I kinda like it.

     I got some humanity in my horse drawn cart for ya.... devil
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    Post by Animaaal Fri Aug 02, 2013 12:06 am

    @Ominous

    Read disclaimer. For real, the fine print will get you foreclosed on man....happened to my neighbor. Shrug 
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    Post by Pilgrim34 Fri Aug 02, 2013 5:59 am

    Real pros stack dark bead and wrath of the gods, and use a stone greatsword to immobilise opponents before unloading with backstabs and castings for a skilful win.
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    Post by Phoenix Rising Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:27 pm

    This thread....2pro4me. lol
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    Post by Wilkinson3424 Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:47 pm

    The Giant Dad is good for duels, remember to always have #YOLOSWAGMONEY and you will always win.
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    Post by Latitoast Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:36 pm

    Remember, if you get low on health run to heal, the other player is cheating, there's no way they could even come close to killing you.
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    Post by Animaaal Sat Aug 03, 2013 6:31 am

    AND....

    .....if you don't finish Siegmeyer's questline before you place the Lordvessel, you're a newb.





    doh 
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    Post by Phoenix Rising Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:25 pm

    Animaaal wrote:AND....

    .....if you don't finish Siegmeyer's questline before you place the Lordvessel, you're a newb.





    doh 

    Well, then I've been a newb for a few hundred playthroughs....oops. blushing 
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    Post by Serious_Much Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:29 pm

    Phoenix Rising wrote:
    Animaaal wrote:AND....

    .....if you don't finish Siegmeyer's questline before you place the Lordvessel, you're a newb.





    doh 

    Well, then I've been a newb for a few hundred playthroughs....oops. blushing 

    ..........................


    Phoenix Rising wrote:

    Well, then I've been a newb for a few hundred playthroughs....oops. blushing 


    ..................................................................

    Phoenix Rising wrote:few hundred playthroughs?!?!?!?!?!

    Say wut surprised
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    Post by Phoenix Rising Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:35 pm

    Ok so I exaggerated a bit...but its at least a hundred. phbbbbt 
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    Post by Serious_Much Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:59 pm

    I still consider that crazy silly

    I've only done like 15-20 and I think that's too many lol!

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