The "let it out" thread.

@Imar: I know what you mean, while mine don't have to do with global warming (directly), my schooling has basically made me paranoid about the future. I don't see humanity making the right decisions over the long term to prevent a major die off event based on current trends (IMO of course)...

Thank you Dough. I have slowly been coming off of my Global Warming phobia, but I don't think it will truely go away. I just need to live my life, do all I can, and see what happens.

And you know what, this is why I love these forums. On any other website, I would be told to stop being such a sissy or somthing. But you guys... You guys are awesome. This is the greatest community ever.

And Berkut. I don't know man, you just gotta hope.

Dough. One my favorite quotes. Fearless is a myth outside of the truly insane. We're all terrified on occasion.

Since we are all getting touchy-feely and stuff, I am afraid of heights, but only tall buildings, I know weird. Bungie jumping, parachuting, climbing rock walls, and mountain climbing do not scare me, only tall buildings. Also deathly afraid of being held underwater.

There are two things that I hate most in this world

1. People who are racially intolerant
2. The Dutch

Also I wear a mask so people don't know my secret identity, Baal knows what I am talking about.

I'm actually pretty terrified of heights Meri, any kind haha. I've even suffered Verigo episodes before, which is odd because I shouldn't be able to suffer from them. In fact it's kind of ridiculous, but if in a game I fall a great height I get really nauseous.

meridam99 wrote:Since we are all getting touchy-feely and stuff, I am afraid of heights, but only tall buildings, I know weird. Bungie jumping, parachuting, climbing rock walls, and mountain climbing do not scare me, only tall buildings. Also deathly afraid of being held underwater.

Oh man. I share that fear of being held underwater. It absolutely terrifies me. I punched a very close friend of mine in face for doing it to me once. Obviously he was just screwing around, but my survival instincts kick in quick when it comes to that. I also am deathly, deathly afraid of spiders. I can't be in a room if I know there's one in there. I have to kill it before I can be comfortable. I find this particularly terrifying:

https://youtu.be/bRV4d9LCawU

Every time I kill a spider on the ceiling I'm afraid this will happen.

I'm pretty bad with heights as well. I had a recurring dream of falling off a waterfall when I was little, and I would wake up and choke down vomit (for the record books, never do that). I'm also somewhat similar to reaper, but to a much lesser degree. I was graced with friends that, while they are complete jerks, at least they're UNDERSTANDING jerks. I also get really depressed about 3 times a year about all sorts of things. Death, the feeling that I'm wasting my life, my lack of interaction with people, etc. My mother's family has a predisposition to alcoholism and severe depression, so I've got lots of stuff to look forward to!

I hate heights. I literally can't stand them. I get all dizzy and crap. One of the main reasons I hate amusement parks. Unfortunately I can't really admit that since you're pretty much considered a sissy if you don't ride roller coasters.

I suppose I have a fear of the great blue abyss that is the ocean. I don't mean that I'm scared of water, or swimming, or boat rides, but more like what could lie in the vast expanse below you. It's never really been a fear for me but it still makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I should post one of those pictures of giant monsters about to eat a lone swimmer, that kind of thing. Other thsn that I think fear nothing.

One fear my friends have told me they have, is a fear of death. It may be a coincident that they are atheists, but one of them believes after death there is absolutely nothing, which I reckon explains it. I'm not religous but I know, or at least believe, that there is something signifigant after death, and so I have no fear of it.

There are a few other things but I'll spare you the post for now, it's the morning anyway.

bloodpixel wrote:I hate heights. I literally can't stand them. I get all dizzy and crap. One of the main reasons I hate amusement parks. Unfortunately I can't really admit that since you're pretty much considered a sissy if you don't ride roller coasters.

The trick is not caring what people think of you.

PlasticandRage wrote:
The trick is not caring what people think of you.

Unfortunately, thats the one the hardest things to do. Humans are social animals, and we want to fit in with others. Fortunately I've never been in a position where I am forced to consider what others think of me.

I didn't expect such a response to this thread, and I'm glad people have been respectful even beyond my expectations. This is a great community, it truly is, and I'm honoured to be a part of it.

It's a funny thing you know, I often look around our little world and wonder about the future. Not just mine, everyone's. I wonder about the world my children (should I be lucky enough to have any) will grow up in. I wonder if the global warming scaremongers are right and if human kind are really ready to be put in charge of a planet when we have such a propensity for hurting each other.

Then I read a thread like this, and I smile.

The face of humanity is ugly, you have to look at the individuals to see the beauty.

I fear nothing but fear itself. :|




And keep this to yourself... But i like boobs.

Keep this to yourselves, but I don't like breasts.

I find it odd that I have every single fear of everyone in this thread.

I am terrified of the ocean, heights, myself, society, the environmental state, etc. How the hell did this happen?

Wade, have you ever belonged to a really tight knit group of friends that seem to love each other unconditionally?

I'm basically afraid of everything in/at/to some degree. There's always something that could go wrong, and even if something went right, I'm afraid I could ruin it again.

Fear is very useful, essential for us to survive, but too much of it is very cumbering of course. :|

I used to have the same number of quirks and phobias and insecurities as any normal kid. What helped me, in a weird way, was falling to my death. (Apologies to the fear of heights folks about this one).

Spoiler:

Almost eating it gives you a different perspective on a lot of things. I can't claim any profound wisdom or enlightenment or higher calling. All I know is that it showed me how many of those little things people get wrapped up about don't matter. There's a chapter in the book Shogun that has a pretty good description of it, when Blackthorne tries to commit seppuku and is stopped just before he's successful. You feel reborn, grateful of all the little things that go right around us every day that you took for granted, from the rain to people's laughter to a simple break in the clouds. At the same time, you feel immune to all the great big crap everyone frets about; am I loved, will I be successful, can I talk to an attractive stranger without making an idiot of myself; what will I do with my life, who am I. Nowadays, I can have the absolutely worst, most horrible day in the world, and still fall asleep with a smile on my face because hey, at least I'm not a grease spot on a mountain somewhere. That one experience cut through all the clutter in my life like a blowtorch. It sounds like trite ********, but you really do need to count your blessings. Everything can be over in an instant, so enjoy your life on your own terms, and try to take time every day to appreciate the time you have.

p.s. My newfound serenity still didn't save me from breaking both a controller and a DkS disc during my first Duke's Archives runthrough. Dark Souls, I salute you.

I used to be terrified of new situations. If it wasn't routine it wasn't for me. Past tense on this and only stating that because I'm a decade or so older than most of the people on this forum. None of you are alone in how you feel or will feel. There's been many before you that have been there and still had or have a good life. I can point to a few concrete examples that made me rethink my old fears and learn to cope and sometimes overcome them. I used to never want to talk to anyone new for example. Then in college I was forced to speak publicly in a number of classes. That helped a little bit (aversion therapy can be a good thing sometimes) but what really made a difference was a psych class I took taught by my Judo instructor. Because of his communication barriers he would review tests by picking someone in class whose answer he liked. He picked mine a couple times and because of the respect I had for him I learned I wanted to participate. After I graduated I worked at a toy store and had to talk to everyone for the most part. I learned that if you smile at strangers, most of the time they smile back. I went to a meeting for bike sales and the bike assembler giving an educational demo on bike engineering had to leave midway through. I was kinda thrown into finishing it for him. It's years later now and I smile to everyone I walk past, pretty much without fail. In addition to investigating for my agency I train new people in CPR/First Aid, Fire Safety and other things when needed.

Mirroring some things I've seen others state, I used to be worried about how I'd turn out to. I used to skip a lot of school. In New York State you can only miss so much without automatically failing that grade. I was always close to failing. I used to wonder if I would do the same thing when I started working and never be able to hold a job. That turned out to not be a problem.

A story from that......in sixth grade I skipped a whole week of school and came back on a day when we had a science test. I was told I could attempt it and then redo it if I did poorly since I literally missed the entire section it was on. When I got the highest grade in my class I cringed when the teacher made sure to proudly state this to the whole class. He thought he was doing me a favor......

When my grandparents, two uncles and a few others passed away from my childhood to adulthood I wondered if I was supposed to feel sad and worried that I didn't. Now I know that as much as I thought I knew then I didn't. My sister in law and mother's deaths in the last few years were like atom bombs compared to how I felt in my early twenties. But even then I worried if I showed it enough. No one saw me cry when my mother passed. I did. Only once when I was going through the music she loved so I could make a slideshow for her memorial service. My wife still has no idea I did and I still wonder if I handled my outward expression right.

I've hurt others pretty bad in my day. Another secret my wife doesn't know but here goes. My first wife and I got married young and primarily I think because of physical attraction rather than long term compatibility. I don't think we were destined for a fairy tale ending but I sure as hell sped up the divorce. We got into a bad fight one night with both of us mad enough to be screaming at each other in my parent's house. She was a good psych case study. Used to carry a security blanket (might still for all I know) and was a cutter. That night she went for the low blow. Out of the blue she talks calmly and states "By the way, I've been cutting myself again" and implying I'm the reason. I've never been one to worry about personal safety but get horrified if someone I love is hurt in any way. For example I almost vomit seeing the smallest injury to my daughter. In my rage I decide to show her the effect her statement had on me and cut my arm in front of her. One blood soaked towel and seven stitches later I'm pretty sure I could have handled that better. Six months later, separated and back in my hometown I know I could have. Again, we were heading there anyway but now I have a four inch (coincidentally the same width as my arm) reminder that I forgot who I was for just long enough to put someone in pain they didn't need.

Going full circle with my original post. All of you have been exceedingly brave to share your fears and your darker side. We all have them and don't have the option of moving back sadly. Luckily, we have a choice in which direction "forward" is.

Thanks you for sharing Skare, its amazing to see how much this thread has done.

Me personally, I'm completely afraid of death. I still have panic attacks at night if I think about dying. I just cant handle the thought of not existing, of all my life going into nothing. I think thats part of why Im going into robotics for my career. Im too squeemish to do medicine so instead I took to the other career path that could result in an extended lifespan.

Don't worry Dough, you will never die! Propagate and propagate and propagate yourself...

skarekrow13 wrote:I used to be terrified of new situations. If it wasn't routine it wasn't for me.

This is such a problem for me. Mostly, I think, due to my recovery. I didn't become an addict alone. Heroin became a big problem in the small town I live in pretty much over night, so essentially my entire group of friends was affected also. On top of that once your a part of that world you kind of push away from your previous one. It's also the kind of drug that statistically like 1/10 addicts escape from. The majority of my friends are either still addicts, in prison, or dead now. Basically in order to protect myself and stay clean I've had to isolate myself. Which was fine in the beginning but like anything else you get used to it after awhile. So much so that I'm starting to feel like I no longer have the appropriate skills for socializing. I feel like I don't really relate to anyone anymore. I mean not only have I been through something, and seen a lot of things that a lot of people shouldn't see, but now that I've started my life again, getting back into school I mean, I'm a lot older than everyone around me. I just don't feel like I know how to talk to people anymore.

And for the record: boobs are great.

PlasticandRage wrote:

bloodpixel wrote:I hate heights. I literally can't stand them. I get all dizzy and crap. One of the main reasons I hate amusement parks. Unfortunately I can't really admit that since you're pretty much considered a sissy if you don't ride roller coasters.

The trick is not caring what people think of you.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for job interviews.
That was a joke, in case you couldn't tell.

Tolvo wrote: Wade, have you ever belonged to a really tight knit group of friends that seem to love each other unconditionally?

I'm friends with a couple of people and we know and hang out with each other pretty frequently, but as a whole I don't have a lot of friends, or people I would talk to. But most of the time I don't mind being alone: having time to myself, to think, to work, to let my mind wander... people think I'm creepy, and even a loser, due to the fact that I don't talk much unless someone directly addresses me, but I'd rather say something meaningful than make pointless conversation to try and dissipate the awkward silence that people dread.