by Satoshi Mon May 27, 2013 11:24 pm Thank you everyone. I really appreciate all your help! Without this lovely community, I probably would've been dead, and so would my friend. With your help, I am a lot happier, and I can start living a better life one step at a time!
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WhatDoesThePendantDo?
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Satoshi
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I Need Some Help
Satoshi- Obsessed
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WhatDoesThePendantDo?- Duke's Archivist
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Satoshi wrote: Thank you everyone. I really appreciate all your help! Without this lovely community, I probably would've been dead, and so would my friend. With your help, I am a lot happier, and I can start living a better life one step at a time!
Baby steps. Nothing too drastic, but keep progressing.
Hart- Obsessed
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Location : NZ
Hi Satoshi, its good to hear your feeling a bit better.
With regards to your friend, you might remember me suggesting she was more dependant on you than you thought; this is the kind of thing I was talking about.
While professional help would probably be a great help to her, and also to your relationship I would just caution you about bringing it up too soon/rashly, just because if she feels she's being pressured into it she will be less open to the help available.
Something I would suggest is for you to identify something she is good at, and more importantly knows she's good at/is comfortable with. This could be your kendo practice, martial arts, hell even something like writing or art. The main thing is that she feels comfortable and confidant talking about whatever it is. When you've found something, its time to introduce her to someone else you know who has an interest in said activity. Do it gently though. Perhaps bring it up with something like, "Hey, would you be able to help me with something? Well, there's someone from college...blah blah blah" placing an emphasis on the fact that she is the 'expert' on the subject from your point-of-view.
Hopefully this will give her a confidence boost, but it will also help lower her guard in terms of "This person is trying to steal Satoshi (I'm sorry but I don't know your name lol) away from me" and let her develop her social skills in a safer enviroment.
Regardless of whether or not she actually makes a lasting friendship with this person or not, if you can get her to enjoy socializing with other people it will be a big step in making her less dependant on you.
With regards to your friend, you might remember me suggesting she was more dependant on you than you thought; this is the kind of thing I was talking about.
While professional help would probably be a great help to her, and also to your relationship I would just caution you about bringing it up too soon/rashly, just because if she feels she's being pressured into it she will be less open to the help available.
Something I would suggest is for you to identify something she is good at, and more importantly knows she's good at/is comfortable with. This could be your kendo practice, martial arts, hell even something like writing or art. The main thing is that she feels comfortable and confidant talking about whatever it is. When you've found something, its time to introduce her to someone else you know who has an interest in said activity. Do it gently though. Perhaps bring it up with something like, "Hey, would you be able to help me with something? Well, there's someone from college...blah blah blah" placing an emphasis on the fact that she is the 'expert' on the subject from your point-of-view.
Hopefully this will give her a confidence boost, but it will also help lower her guard in terms of "This person is trying to steal Satoshi (I'm sorry but I don't know your name lol) away from me" and let her develop her social skills in a safer enviroment.
Regardless of whether or not she actually makes a lasting friendship with this person or not, if you can get her to enjoy socializing with other people it will be a big step in making her less dependant on you.
reim0027- Moderator
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Cut the ties ASAP. Staying connected with her will not improve things. She is scary crazy if I'm reading you right).
Mr. Tart- Compulsory Poster
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Reim makes a valid point. The way she acts, it leaves you with few options. Although even leaving her seems risky. Could you go into more detail?
Mr. Tart- Compulsory Poster
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Satoshi wrote:WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:It does sound like she is obsessed with you. Might I suggest doubles counseling? Nothing wrong with having a relationship, but let it be a healthy one.
What's doubles counseling, do you mean doubling the time for having one, or is it something else.
He could've meant couples counseling.
