Your most amusing Dark Souls PvP experience?

I apologize in advance if this is the wrong subforum, I took my best guess.

I honestly made this account for the sole purpose of sharing this story, it was just too amazing not to tell others about ^_^ it's long but funny...to me at least.

Basically, I was doing PvP on my level 12. No, not griefing, actual PvP using a normal +5 weapon. I invaded a couple of anti-griefers and went ahead and tossed on GMW and the Hornet Ring since I was dealing with QFS and a chaos MSGS.

Long story short I murdered the phantom and the host dashboarded. I sent him a message asking why he'd dashboarded when he could've two-shot killed me and he responded with "guess what f*** you"

Yeah, really.

We had a short exchange (me being bitingly sarcastic, him acting like your typical XBL bully) and then he finally sent me a rage message informing me he'd blocked comms. About five minutes later his buddy, the one I murdered, sent me a message telling me to stop trolling the host. I told him I'd gladly do that when the host stopped acting like an eight-year-old on his daddy's XBOX. My first and only mistake.

We proceeded to have a VERY long conversation over the space of the afternoon and early evening, which basically consisted of me being subtly sarcastic/overbearingly polite while he peppered me with misspelled and profanity-laced messages about how I'd regret "f****ing with his bros". He eventually challenged me to a PvP match...vs. his level 240, which he claimed was his ONLY PvP build. Conveniently, this was after I mentioned my highest character was SL 125. I got a good giggle out of that and asked him how many casts of WoTG he had (he didn't get it).

After I explained to him that I couldn't summon him because of the -10%/+infinite summoning range in the RSS, he said he'd killed all the bosses except the Taurus Demon and he could only summon me there...after I'd already mentioned I hosted there. So, he could only summon me at one of the most active PvP spots in the game, where he wouldn't even be able to see my RSS before someone invaded me. Heh, cute.

In the end, after I succeeded in embarassing him to the point where he was getting visibly frustrated, he suddenly revealed he actually had a SL120 that was "an anything build, not for pvp but itll work." So, I summoned him and...he had on full Havel's and was toting the stone greatsword. I was immediately suspicious but decided to go on ahead. I bowed, he used the TWoP effect of the sword and ran up with a shotel...YES, a shotel, even though I didn't have a shield...and started R2 spamming me. I had the Murakumo on and managed to stunlock him and...

Yes...

He had hacked HP.

The last thing he sent to me was "dont f*** with my bros nob"

Most amazing player ever. I didn't even report him in the end ^_^ As amusing as it is, though, it kind of kills my faith in humanity (no punz intended) to know that there's people like this running around ruining the gaming experiences of perfectly reasonable folks. 

TL;DR

I met an idiot who did silly things and then set up a duel and killed me with his hacked character.

So yeah, that's it. Share your experiences and tell me about your favorite idiot 

I'm not sure I would call this an "amusing" story. It's actually a very sad anecdote on the state of Dark Souls PvP. There are so many players on these days that would never have played before they had the ability to cheat. They simply can't stand losing at anything.

Personally, I have no problem with invaders, trolls, gankers, whatever, so long as they came about their stats and gear legitimately. Today, there's absolutely no way to know if they did, so it pretty much ruins the whole experience.

This happens to me often, and I get a kick out of it every time...

Invade in Sen's. Run into the host in the first area. He runs away, gets knocked off by the blades, then indicts me. Everytime I see that indiction I can't help but laugh.

and I couldn't count the amount of times I've had invaders run away to ledged areas and wait around the corner to WoG me off a ledge.  I've resorted to just turning off my PS3 everytime I see an invader run away and just restart.

Some people just want to waste your time and watch the world burn. it's unfortunate.

My most recent amusing moment took place in the upper burg with my lvl 11 co-op build.  After putting down my sign, I climb to the roof to wait.  That way I can get a look at any invaders as they come into my world.

I'm invaded by a guy in full havels with a demon machette, definately mid-rolling, maybe even fast rolling.  I wave at him from the roof, then quit out.

He sends me a message calling me a coward and whining about how I just wasted one of his cracked orbs.  I messaged back, that if he is getting low on cracked orbs, all he needed to do was kill the 4 kings and join the darkwraiths.... problem solved.

He didn't have anything to say back. 

I was in co op with a guy, (he was host). We got invaded in undead berg. He suicides because he told me later he wasn't giving invader any souls after getting killed lol.

I was in the cat covenant because I wanted to work on my pvping(don't know much about it) and kept getting summoned against these 2 guys. They had no honour, not bowing and what not, I eventually killed one of them after being summoned 2 or 3 times and the other one just runs away, hiding behind trees and not letting me get anywhere near him. After eventually killing him as well I get this huge hate message full of all sorts of verbal abuse, when about 5 mins later I get another message I get another message apologising an saying that that was his little brother being a trolling douche. Faith in humanity restored!

All right, I was invading in Anor Londo with a pure strength character. Anyways I invade some guy, rush to the room with the stairs and the two spear knights and wait behind the door. The host goes in first, engages one of the knights gets hit once then I finish him off with a large club blow.

Use the red orb again and well it's the same guy! I ambush behind the same door but this time he pulls the spear knight to the hall. As soon as I exit the room well the host is showing his back and well, one backstab and its over.

Well, amazingly enough I pop the orb again and hey it's him again! I again ambush behind the door but this time he's learned and let's the phantom get into the room first. I dance around fighting them and manage to get them both low on life, but so am I. At this point a light bulb pops in my head and I rush towards the titanite demon room... The host, so anxious to take his revenge follows me blindly into the room without healing.... And the demon finishes him off with one blow.

You should report anybody who tampers with their console without exception.  Always report it.  Every single person with any hacks needs a console ban.  Don't give those players a pass; they're knowingly violating xbox live terms of service to ruin others' experiences and they need consequences for that.

I'm invaded by a guy in full havels with a demon machette, definately mid-rolling, maybe even fast rolling.  I wave at him from the roof, then quit out.

He sends me a message calling me a coward and whining about how I just wasted one of his cracked orbs.  I messaged back, that if he is getting low on cracked orbs, all he needed to do was kill the 4 kings and join the darkwraiths.... problem solved.

It is possible to run around in full have's and DGM at SL 17:

http://mmdks.com/3hb4

As far as I'm aware, there's no way to get lower than SL 39 and still be able to even mid roll with full havel's + DGM (fast roll is impossible in full havel's + DGM, even with 99 end rofap and havel's ring).

http://mmdks.com/3hb5

So, if you were certain he was midrolling, that's another hacker.  Not sure why such a person would care about cracked orbs though.  Surely people who can edit their stats can edit their orb count, so maybe he was actually fatrolling?

My own personal favorite in the past month was fighting host + 2 gankers in forest, making the jump over the river, and having both phantoms attempt it as well and both fail.  I killed the host and gave a "well what is it?", all while mid-rolling.  No hate mail though.  I've had two people accuse me of hacking because they thought I was the host, but they apologized when I pointed out I was the other invader ^_^.

Really only true cheaters piss me off in this game, along with their idiotic justifications for doing so.  Online gaming really really needs to purge that nonsense from existence.  Leave cheating to offline stuff.

TheMeInTeam wrote:You should report anybody who tampers with their console without exception.  Always report it.  Every single person with any hacks needs a console ban.  Don't give those players a pass; they're knowingly violating xbox live terms of service to ruin others' experiences and they need consequences for that.

I'm invaded by a guy in full havels with a demon machette, definately mid-rolling, maybe even fast rolling.  I wave at him from the roof, then quit out.

He sends me a message calling me a coward and whining about how I just wasted one of his cracked orbs.  I messaged back, that if he is getting low on cracked orbs, all he needed to do was kill the 4 kings and join the darkwraiths.... problem solved.

It is possible to run around in full have's and DGM at SL 17:

http://mmdks.com/3hb4

As far as I'm aware, there's no way to get lower than SL 39 and still be able to even mid roll with full havel's + DGM (fast roll is impossible in full havel's + DGM, even with 99 end rofap and havel's ring).

http://mmdks.com/3hb5

So, if you were certain he was midrolling, that's another hacker.  Not sure why such a person would care about cracked orbs though.  Surely people who can edit their stats can edit their orb count, so maybe he was actually fatrolling?

My own personal favorite in the past month was fighting host + 2 gankers in forest, making the jump over the river, and having both phantoms attempt it as well and both fail.  I killed the host and gave a "well what is it?", all while mid-rolling.  No hate mail though.  I've had two people accuse me of hacking because they thought I was the host, but they apologized when I pointed out I was the other invader ^_^.

Really only true cheaters piss me off in this game, along with their idiotic justifications for doing so.  Online gaming really really needs to purge that nonsense from existence.  Leave cheating to offline stuff.

Yesterday I reported someone hacking at the burg of all places. Same hack I've seen before, life bar empty they don't take damage anymore and won't die.

TheMeInTeam wrote:So, if you were certain he was midrolling, that's another hacker.  Not sure why such a person would care about cracked orbs though.  Surely people who can edit their stats can edit their orb count, so maybe he was actually fatrolling?

 He was definately mid-rolling at a minimum.  I watched him roll down the stairs from where he spawned in from.  That was no fat roll.  He seemed awfully spry.

My guess as to why he cared about cracked orbs, was he was just looking for some reason to whine to me about quiting on him and cheating him of his fun.

That's his problem, not yours .

I BC out of known hacker's worlds and report them whenever possible.  Often, it's hard to know though.  The only time it's really easy to tell are the obvious things like infinite HP/stamina/instakill weapons.  I guess being SL 1 and getting invaded by someone who can actually swing the gold tracer or midroll in havel's like you're talking about is also clear evidence.

I have tons of stories :] but to save you guys a few pages of invasions I'll list just one, I darkmoon a lot, and as I'm no hacker the fights can devolve into sillyness I will run and play carefully if there are summons or my life gets low.

At sens fortress I hid after the second set of pendalums in the room behind the snakepriest. The host knew I was there as he sniped the priest and went and got two summons, and stood before the first set of pendalums and kept pointing up at me on the second floor trying to get his summons to go. They "eventually" took the hint, and made their way after I waved to them. One summon runs flat into a blade and falls to his death, the second one, a sunbro, makes it up to my floor between the two sets of pendalums and proceeds to start casting. I roll across the doorway triggering the crossbow trap. He eats two bolts in the chest still in the cast animation, the pendalum swings and catches his spell and moves away in time to let him catch the third bolt and die. I then step out and wave at the host He runs back into the first room and summons, lo and behold the same two phantoms That just died. They both make it to the second floor this time with host in tow, but the first one once again has difficulty being friends with the pendalums and makes another trip to the tar pit. The sun bro whom ate the crossbow last time knows I can't pull that trick again and tries shooting the doorway hoping to clip me. He eventually gives up hope and brandishes his sword, and tries to rush the door I fast roll out and force blast him off the edge to his doom. The host now dumbfounded standing between the pendalum sets pulls up his shield, and at the first sign of my pyromancy glove turns and runs toward the stairs. I dash to where he was standing and drop down to the first walkway and meet him head on. If it is possible for a player to show his emotions through his in game character's movements, then I was death come for him with a pair of rusty fishing hooks, a bag of salt, and a car battery. He franticly sprinted back up the stairs dashed through the first set of blades, but stopped for the second set, giving me just enough time to catch and backstab him, kicking him in the way of the pendalums, he stood up catching the blade and landed at long last in the pit.

The best part, he messages me after "Teach me 0_0"

in my experience every figth using the cat covenent ring ends in ganking, if you are killed them you get the "point down" if you killed them you get rage messages, thats so funny