Dark Souls Quip

I can eat whatever I want at anytime without being worried about getting fat, losing so much calories running up and down at Kiln stairs

@darkson awesome!

darkson, if only you actually made that yourself, shame eh?

keep em coming people

What are you talking about? Are drawed this myself just for you!

Now dumb jokes aside, unfortunately I could not find the creator. But wanted to share it. It's so awesome! I would eat this every day...

Also, Carphil, as you might know I recently started to pvp at kiln, it's been hours now there and I soooo totally know what you're talking about. Damn stairs are annoying (but atmospheric)

just got invaded by a dmb in dukes on my way to light the last bonfire there... i used prostration and they black crystaled out, so nice! then a red shows up and we begin trading stuff and dancing then i get a note in japanese... in the end i start summoning phantoms for her to duel... got pretty weird.

"What do you get when you stir kickass with awesome sause? Me"

"Hammer Time, People!"

"Mmm, love me some Crisped Pork Rines"

"More like dinner than foe"

"Light that sucker up; like a molten colossus of *** up"

"Swing batter batter! Look at that snake go!"

"Silver Knights? Ya, more like Silver Tin Men"

"Mother *** lagstabbing ***!"

"Roast er up with some kick ***, boo ya!"

"***!"

"Swing batter batter, swing batter batter!"

"Ew, the sound of broken spines is badass"

"Lightning Bolt, lightning Bolt!"

"My sword is shiny, shiny!"

"Bamn! Right in the kisser."

"How the hell did he hit me, I rolled?!"

"Their are 5 of you over there, two of you over there, and one of me... guess that sums up to me."

"Get Out..."

"Poke, run, parry, repeat."

"Thats stupid, I blocked it with my shield!"

"Stop spamming WoG, or I'm gonna give ya a taste of lightning!"

"he swung that Axe 6 times in a row!... my hammer can only do 4, and its faster!"

"Ow my good!, where did he come from?!"

"What the hell!? First I try to Gravelord in the depths, I give up, and put my summon sign down. Now, I am trying to help one of the people I infected, and he still has those damn phantoms! that's *** up!"

"So many dragon legs, yet they arn't cooked enough... need some power of sun over here!"

"Solaire, don't be a *****! Stop falling off the cliff, and wait your damn turn! Lautrec has to go around the ram- God Damn it!"

"Ow my God, stop hitting me you stupid red dragon! The bridge has my signature on it, not you. See, its right in front of me!"

"Stop rolling, and take it like a man!"

"God damn it, I ran out of Coca Cola. Guess I have to resort to water..."

"See, I have never been cursed by those Geckos, not... ok, that one time I did, but that is only because you're here."

"How come every time I have a friends over, i start to suck more... it seems that people in real life are dragging my awesome down."

"Ugh. Look kid, if you don't want to get crushed to the ground like a *****, you gotta stop spamming those arrows like a *****. If it missed me once, try again. If it misses me 7 times, then you gotta resort to something else... quit your *****', and do something else that is more effective."

"Why are their so many people in giants armor, yet I am always taller than them?"

"So... many... rolling smoughs. Irritating as hell. Why is it that every time I see them, all they do is roll around till they get a backstab? Doing flips and ****, seems wrong in so many levels. that fat suit would make them go around in circles for a milennia."

"Kirky Kirky, time to kick you off the ledge. Boop! So adorable!"

"If he does that one more time, i am going to break the televisi- ***!"

"No no no, Warcraft has no skill. See, I know I press buttons like you, but my buttons are MANUAL! You'res is a gamble to make sure your character doesn't screw up and miss, which he probably will, and depending on an auto sequence to hit a a guy, in which case you have to have enough of it to get high damage from it. That's not skill; that' luck. Me? everything I do in game is manual from hand, and if my character screws up, its on me... yes, I understand that you need enough of your spells or whatever to do the right job, but my game has that as well. See that dragon on the bridge? Ya, good luck trying to get the 'right actions' to kill him after NG+, because it ain't gonna happen, unless you fight it like a *****. Therefore, their is no skill in your game, you should come and join MINE... not the other way around. I don't play dice games, I play real-time strategy games."

"Stop Hitting Me!"

- Acidic Cook, during his 'happy' time.

hahaha both hilarious!

Awesome people!

BTW you may want to visit the

COMEDY PAGE!

i don’t know about you but i laughed at this

^ This won to me.

indeed it's great, but i still want you guys to keep going

I still got a good amount of situations where I have my moments if... Enlightenment. Guess I can add more later.

me and the artoras ring

*jumps in the abyss with the ring*

*survives*

*sees a giant demon comming after me*

*rpelaces the ring for something else*

*fall down and dies*

"ummm thats not nice :/"

on the rafters on anor londo

*did not noticed the two archers*

*gets shot and goes sailing off the edge*

"i believe i can flyyyyy!"
*splat*
*dies*

What was the first I defeated Ornstein and Smough and entered Gwynevere's Chamber I kept seeing messages that said things like "Amazing Chest ahead" it took over 40 minutes to realize what the messages really meant I do not consider myself naive well it looks I am though (yes i searched he chamber and the area around the place didn't find any chests did some low level souls items though)

I have two more stories for you guys one day I got invaded in Anor Londo near the first bonfire there I stood in the court yard waiting for this guy we fought a little and I used for and knocked him towards the elevator and the minute he pulled out his parrying dagger I couldn't resist saying "THIS IS SPARTA and then I kicked him down the elevator but the elevator was high enough that he didn't die and I said "I guess this isn't sparta".

The second story actually isn't mine there was some guy who put his video on youtube he stood in the Forest behind the door of Artorias and he said it took over 45 minutes for two invaders to find him he still died but I was just laughing at the vid I post the link as soon as I find it

Don't get me wrong, the posts above me are funny, but why does it seem to me like everyone here who has Alvina as his/her avatar is unable to use punctuation characters?

Or did Pagar (or how he's called) rejoin?

No offence, it's just vey hard to read.

Moments ago I was just in the forest and decided to go out on a very very good note. I invaded in the forest only to spot two sunbros and a host, the host in the BK armor with a BKGA and Havel's Shield. So they charge after me and as I'm running away I switch my armor to the Elite Knight set and get out my G Halberd and Hornets ring. I BS the first bro, dead. The other waits behind me and I pivot Parry Riposte him, dead. The host runs away and finally I see their skill level. They start fat rolling as I walk casually behind them, I kick him and he flasks up thinking he takes damage, and starts flasking when I toxin him with Dung pies. Finally I decide enough is enough and Talisman him. I watch as he sits there trying to flask and keep pushing him, eventually pushing him off the cliff. Boy was that fun. So I decided to end on that for a little while rather than spawning in a world and dying as I'm surrounded by three MLGS haha.

I sometimes think of the following scenario..
"So...Mr. Chosen Undead Is it? What do you do for a living?"
"I....um...give demons prostate exams..."
-------
The Chosen Undead uses the souls of others he kills to gain strength.
What drives him to slay them for his own need? What composes their souls?
The mystery will never be solved.....

Just kidding it's crack. The chosen undead is a crack addict.

LMAO

ABSOLUTELY STUNNING

I just thought of this while posting on another thread.

When Petrus was offing the maiden, do you think he did his evil laugh while melodically chanting "Die A Rhea, Die A Rhea, Die A Rhea!"

Was anyone a little creeped out when petrus who was crying over losing Reah says when you find out where she is he says "do with her what you will" the creeped me out I honestly thought he had gone hollow

I believe he hoped she died and was pretending to care and then, when you tell him different he tries to convince you to silence her so he won't need to dirty his gauntlets. And yes, I found that creepy.