Help me with my homework. It'll be fun, promise

So in two days I have to give a 4-6 minute persuasive speech on a topic of my choosing. It's essentially my final exam for my intro to comms course. Can be absolutely anything; the emphasis being on how I back up my arguments and be persuasive. So I'm thinking about giving my speech on the value of the mullet, like the point I'm making is why everyone should have a mullet. So far all I've come up with is that it would keep the back of your neck warm. I'm going to wear a scarf and demonstrate how they have a tendency to get pulled up in the back and leave an area of your neck exposed, so having a mullet would be a more efficient solution. I'm also compiling a list of famous people with mullets, to play the "if celebrities do it then it must be great" card. So far my list is: Hulk Hogan, Macgyver, Snake Plissken (yes I'm going to introduce them by their character names), Chuck Norris, AC Slater, Patrick Swayze, 80's era Mel Gibson, Uncle Jesse from Full House, Dog Chapman, and Captain Planet.

Anyone have any ideas on some other pros of the mullet? Anything would be helpful, if you can't tell I'm trying to be as outlandish and absurd as possible, so no suggestion is too ridiculous. Please fire away. Also if you can think of any celebrities that would be funny to mention that I haven't, that would also be helpful.

Pros:

It's damn handsome

It lets people know you like to have a good time

In the event of an emergency you could trim your mullet and burn the hair for warmth,light, or to signal rescuers

It let's everyone know that you are confident in yourself and willing to buck the trend of non-mullet wering styles.


Famous Mullets:

Randy Johnson (soon to be hall of fame pitcher)

Mario Lemiux (Soon to be hall of fame hockey player)

Jaromir Jagr - same as Mario

Any professional hockey player of baseball player most likely had a mullet at some point in their life.

Good luck!

bmurn wrote:
In the event of an emergency you could trim your mullet and burn the hair for warmth,light, or to signal rescuers

Oh dude. This one is SPECTACULAR. Absolutely stellar. I just thought of another one too. Billy the Exterminator, and his brother Ricky, both wear them. I could argue that it protects the back of their necks from insect stings

I'm also doing a little research on the history of the mullet, and evidently it used to be called "hockey hair," due to the large population of hockey players that rocked them.

I could also include that it's aerodynamic. Like the people who rock the shaved head/long hair in the back. So that they can run faster and have less drag

It protects you from blows to the back of the head. A mugger will aproach from behind you and take a swing at your mullet-protected head with a baseball bat. You turn around, unaffected, and say "Nice try." Then you procede to beat the living daylights out of your would-be assailiant.

Nice. You could also maybe work on something related to the mullet having the capability to distract people from either some flaw you are trying to hide, or some other action that is taking place.

bad example, but say a naked by with normal hair streaks by. What do you notice, a naked guy. Same guy with a mullet streaks by. You notice the mullet.

I think I'm just going to approach the issue of protection broadly. Like from animal bites, insect stings, muggers, what have you. Possibly auto accidents.

I also like the idea of it as an attention grabber. What are some situations where it really pays for people to notice you first? Job interviews maybe? Being business in the front never hurt there, but your prospective boss could also see that you're party in the rear and gain an understanding of how complex a person you are.

Ooo how bout as a travel pillow? Wherever you go you could curl it up and sleep on it.

I just found a mullet technical drawing. Explaining, with images and measurements, exactly what makes a fine mullet.

Pro: Having mullet will help to remain abstinent from sex(you know...if you wanted to be abstinent)

Con: Having a mullet will keep you abstinent from sex.

This thread has made my week. As a token of my gratitude, mullet baby singing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skwl8egOEsk

sinisterapathy wrote:Pro: Having mullet will help to remain abstinent from sex(you know...if you wanted to be abstinent)

Con: Having a mullet will keep you abstinent from sex.

I could approach this one like it's a safe sex tool. Protect you from sexually transmitted diseases

Exacly bro! When i was in high school we had a club thing that was all about staying abstinent...i was not in this club but remember they tried to make a big deal out of it and get every one to join.

Yeah we had that at my school also. It was headed by the health teacher....who in fact had a mullet. I have to admit I'm stunned at all the protective applications a mullet has. I'm starting to think I may not be safe without one.

I'm also trying to think of names for each of these things that include the word mullet in them. Like when I talk about it for protective purposes I'm going to call it a helmullet, for abstinence I could call it the abstimullet.

LOL @ health teacher.

As a man with long hair(not a mullet...) I can tell that it has a real protective application...keeps your head quite warm in the winter. For a mullet it would only be the back of your head and neck of course.

That's another good point. I'm trying to think of reasons why simple long hair all around isn't as good. So far I'm going to say being party in the front and rear is just irresponsible. Possibly that by blocking your ears with your hair you become a less effective listener, which could have all kinds of applications. Hunting, home protection, etc.

PlasticandRage wrote:I'm also trying to think of names for each of these things that include the word mullet in them. Like when I talk about it for protective purposes I'm going to call it a helmullet, for abstinence I could call it the abstimullet.

+1 becausae that is hilarious.

Genius idea my friend.

Hey I do what I can. I'm still trying to think of one for the emergency fire kindling application. Which I have to say remains my favorite

For aerodynamics I could call it the accelemullet

Inflamullet?

eh...survivamullet? That ones not nearly as funny though.

lol and i must be pretty irresponsible.

edit: Inflamullet heh thats pretty good.

I kinda like survivamullet.

When I'm discussing it as a matter of responsibility I could refer to it as presentamullet. I plan on making a comparison between it and a photo of someone with really messy greasy long hair. I also found a photo of a guy with a mullet on a motorcycle in profile view, and I'm going to illustrate how the wind would stream right over it with an animated power point. Kind of like the way football touchdowns are illustrated in play by plays

survivamullet is good. I like the other names as well. This is good stuff.

You could go with an acronym as well, something like the FMSS - Full Mullet Safety System. Which could encompass all your protection ideas.

Oh I like that too. Man you guys are full of great ideas. I knew this thread would be fruitful.

Anybody think of any decent military applications? I could call it a full mullet jacket. That's just too good to pass up

I think that oughtta do it actually. I can definitely fill 5 minutes with all that. Thanks for the help guys.

I'm totally going to credit you guys in my speech. Going to say I preformed extensive testing with my crack team of experimulleters

My speech went SO well. I had a couple of people laughing so hard they were crying. Gave my professor the hiccups. If anyone knows a way for me to upload the power point that went with it somewhere so I can share it I'd be happy to do it. It's probably the best part, and seeing as you guys had a hand in making it so successful I thought you might want to check it out.

Awesome im glad it went well bro.

I would like to see this power point though i dont know of a way for you to upload it.