Tarkus 2.0 V-Day Contest

You know him...you :heart: LOVE :heart: him... iiit's Taaaarrrkuuuuuussssss!!! :Baal02:



We have the technology. We can make him bigger, faster....stronger.



Oooor not...What's your version?!?!?

A younger Tarkus perhaps?

Maybe he took off his armor and went and got married...who knows...

Make him 2.0 or 0.33 whooooooo cares.

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Example:Tarkus 2.0

Why the Golem head Tarkus??
"Cuz Golem is my *****."

Why the Flamberge Tarkus??
"I found it."

Why the new armor??
"That guy over there..."gave" it to me."

Why the wand dude??
"That ol' man had some "extra" stuff.

So spells now huh Tarky??
" Darkness tastes gooooooood."

Build Story:

"I shall continue to Anor...my trophy caresses my face,
she will be pleased for sure.
My old skin has comforted me now, I have shed it.
I will not let it go....

Thank you wise old man...you have saved me...."

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Contest Rules and Prizes

1) Create a random build about Tarkus, in whatever context, its not really a contest. Theres really no rules I guess.

4) I will judge it on Valentines Day and determine by myself, with no other considerations but my own, who is the winner.
***EDIT*** Unless you guys decide for me.

17) PRIZES: 3 rep points (if I even can) and 5000 interwebs. :affraid:

***I will also give you a random slab, someday, at whatever soul level (up to 100), if I ever get around to it. I will try though, for the most part.***EDIT***When I load Dark Souls, I literally go through 50 or 60 item descritions in the load screen. I now know every item description that shows in said load screen. I think my disc reader is going out because I can access PSN with no probs and rent movies. Last time I loaded Dark Souls, I waited over 30 minutes and gave up. I'm having withdrawls and will soon buy another ps3. Next week, maybe week after. I'm serious about the slab though.

DISCLAIMER:
[i] make no guarantees that I will even remember to judge this on time, or give 3 rep points (i might give 2 or 5 idk), or even to remotely understand what an interweb is or explain it to you. I just know they're good.

Good Luck!

I like my Tarkus as I like my hamburgers, classic and without fancy stuff.

http://mmdks.com/z32

Iron Boar Helm:
"For Headbutt. Does puny hollow not like headbutt?" *headbutts*

Iron Golem Torso
"Hole in chest. Opponent need chance. Otherwise too easy."

Havel Gauntlets
"Chains nice and light. Don't want too heavy."

Ornstein's Leggings
"Shiny make people look at Tarkus's sexy, sexy legs. You no like legs?" *headbutts*


Dragon Tooth
"Other weapons break easy. Tarkus need toothpick. Two bird, one Tarkus."

Canvas Talisman
"Tarkus not like blood staining pretty leggings. Need cloth."



Build Story:
"Tarkus was sleeping in corner of Painting room. Woke up, Tarkus robbed! Tarkus angry. Smooshed funny white men. Still no armour. Smooshed Fat knight and skinny knight. Liked leggings. Found tooth next to chest with teeth (Tarkus needed shave anyway) and nice light gloves with chains. Went to Dragon tower. Liked Pig head. Took head. Very messy, so used cloth puny cleric had. Jumped down to Big Metal Man bits. Took them, covered up body (Tarkus has dignity).
Still not found clothes. You got clothes?" *smooshes*

I'll just go with my main character:

FARMER TARKUS! (Thanks for the name Eki)

After leveling way up, Tarkus decides to settle down. Trading his weapons of war in for those of a simpler life he wields a great scythe. For wheat.

Spoiler:

Once the harvest is complete he switches to a four prong plow. For lifting.

Spoiler:

Sometimes he uses a Priscilla's Dagger. To eat.

Spoiler:

In his left hand he often carries a catalyst. Because everything tastes better with lemon.

Spoiler:

Or a bloodshield. Because cows sometimes kick.

Spoiler:

Of course, the armor stays. Because it's classy as hell. Even for a farmer

i have a bk build that uses black iron armor and the shield, its really basic http://mmdks.com/z5p

Thanks for your participation ya'll!!!

Okay, we have:

- 2 "Classic Tarkus" builds...always a .....classic 8)

- 1 "Brawn Before Brains Tarkus"....

- 1 "Farmer Tarkus".... ...where's he when I'm farmin slabs?!?!?

Thanks again for the entries

DONT MISS YOUR CHANCE FOR 1000 INTERWEBS!!!!!

*see disclaimer

Animaaal wrote:...17) PRIZES: 3 rep points (if I even can) and 5000 interwebs. :affraid:....

Rule 17 has been changed from 1000 to 5000 interwebs!!!!!




Now to all the private entry entries...

I have literally received hundereds of thousands of pms requesting entry into the competition. I apologize, but your love for Tarkus must be made public for all to see. Private messages will not be acknowledged as official entry into the competition, nor will love letters aimed at Tarkus. I apologize for the confusion.

DISCLAIMER:
I lied, this thread is hardly getting any attention at all.

ONLY 1 DAY LEFT!!! :affraid:

If you're interested in early retirement I suggest getting your submission in on time.

If you want to work forever wondering how 5000 interwebs could've changed your life, then sit back and watch the opportunists bask in the forever glory they will obtain from winning this prestigious award.

The choice is yours.....Tarkus has done so much for you, will you not sing his praise? The choice is yours.

I think most people are too busy making their Tarkus V-Day cards to post builds. That's why I started my Tarkus Day cards early.

For the cute couple;

Spoiler:

For the romantic;

Spoiler:

And even a suggestive one for naughty couples;

Spoiler:

Well, I gotta say...it was close.

The race between skarecrow and skarecrow and skarecrow was a very tight race to say the least.

But in the end:

Spoiler:

Whelp, I dont care. I'm callin it early.

If politicians can do it why not I?

Again thank you everyone for your participation,
but I really had no choice in the matter.

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

^SEE DISCLAIMER

I'd like to thank the academy, and Jebus. And of course Eki.

I look forward to defending my title next year.

Since now it's official: Happy St. Tarkustine's Day everyone!

Wut farmer tarkus won?

Wut.

Worst tarkus I ever saw was a guy in tarkus armour with eagle shield and claymore.

Tarkus on a budget?

The bad economy hit everyone hard it seems

IV_Mark_VI wrote:Wut farmer tarkus won?

Wut.

Worst tarkus I ever saw was a guy in tarkus armour with eagle shield and claymore.

Tarkus on a budget?

Ahh, the classic "Eagle Shield Tarkus", often sporting a Zaphander and putting down a white sign in Anor Londo.

Ghadis_God wrote:

IV_Mark_VI wrote:Wut farmer tarkus won?

Wut.

Worst tarkus I ever saw was a guy in tarkus armour with eagle shield and claymore.

Tarkus on a budget?

Ahh, the classic "Eagle Shield Tarkus", often sporting a Zaphander and putting down a white sign in Anor Londo.

i love using the eagle shield for coop, invaders automatically think newbie and switch to shotel and spam r2, what i do is make it seem like im retreating and blocking the whole time until they get close to me then switch to bare hand and parry them dead lol