Hilarious quotes that never leave you

"The duck quacks at midnight"

"That hardly seems fair" "I said I was a gentleman, not a sportsman"

"I think we broke Murphy's law"

All from In Wily's Defense

"Dimsdale!"

"Hey Lama, how about something, you know, for the effort." Followed shortly by the one that really sticks with me
"So I got that going for me."

"That's nothing to be proud of Russ."

"I fart in your general direction"
"We are now the knights who say "Icky Icky Icky Ftaaang Zoobotwfff". "Ni". "No we're not that anymore!"
"We need...a SHRUBBERY"

and finally: "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

These are only the ones from Monty Python that get me, I have a hell of a lot more.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

I'm being held aloft by no less then 4 air duct rats.

"THERE ARE THOSE WHO CALL ME.........tim?"

THERE. ARE. FOUR. LIGHTS.

"That's a penny you owe him."

"The moose says you're closed, I say you're open."

"Honey, you got reeeal ugly."

"He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!"

You've made me recall one befowler.

"Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun."

befowler wrote:
"The moose says you're closed, I say you're open."

I can't vote anymore today, but you've got a +1 coming sir.

"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I
have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want
him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane
with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a
big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I
want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing,
low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant,
blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****, hopeless, heartless,
fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of
monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Tylenol?"

my dad is like, well glad thats over - clean up and come to tesco's your mum wants us to go shopping - I ask, how long were you watching, he replies in that movie guy voice - since the dawn of time! - that will just stick with me


also me and my nephew back when I was 10 and he was 8, on top of hottub - 10 starjumps now soldier! Yessir! I do five and the lid of the hottub caves in xD

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

And "Who was that?"
"I dunno. Must be the king."
"Why?"
"He dosen't have **** all over him."

"If you think eve online is fun you are, provably, wrong"



"Gar, I be havin' a southen accent, y'all"

It looks like he was serial crushed by some huge freaking guy.

My sig, that is all.

Pirate- Caboose's mind?

"Have you found anything yet!"

"No Sir"

"No Sir"

"We Haven't Found ****!!"

Always makes me laugh when I'm sick

I'm surrounded by ***holes!.... Keep firing ***holes!

....one of the the "House of the Dead" arcade shooter games...you've probably seen/played it before

anyways, theres this cutscene where this guy strolls out of an open sewer and says in the most chipper, happy-go-lucky tone, "My friends went inside! I told them not to go! wahhhhhhh!"

then he proceeds to be made into a love toy for a tentacled sewer monster.

Are you sure that was House of the Dead? Are you really sure?

yeah, had to be 1 or 2. The voice acting in those games was laughably bad. yet ill still drop 50 cents in every time i see a house of the dead arcade stand.

"Thanks for the ride lady, thanks for the ride!"

"Ok I Love You Bye Bye"

I feel sorry for that dog >_>

"Sir, who is your commanding officer?"

"...I thought you were."