LunarFog build: Tank of Grief

Strength: 50 If you're gonna be a tank you gotta be strong god dammit!
Vitality: 60 Because a tank has to be able to take little limp-wristed slaps all day from other non-tanks!
Endurance: 40 The more stamina you have the longer you can use your pimp-hand without getting cramps to smack around those baby-bird boned weaklings!
Attunement: 10 You need one spell and one spell only: Mother fluffing Iron Flesh motherlover!
Humanity: 0! A tank has to be ready to curb stomp a newborn baby into the ground if they have to!

Armor: Take your pick! Full Giant set, Smough, or Havel! A tank's gotta look part and he can't have armor made out of WEAK BABY MATERIAL.

RH Weapons: Dragon Great Sword // Dragon King Great Axe: A tank HAS TO HAVE CANNONS. These weapons have great fourking attack and MAKE GOD DAMMED EXPLOSIONS. A TANK THAT MAKES EXPLOSIONS. WHO'DA THUNK'?

LH Weapons: Havels Shield // Pyromancy flame: A tank has to have iron defense! In case your weak fetus baby brains couldn't calculate how heavy you are, you're way over your weight limit so you'll be as slow as a MOTHERFLUFFING HORROR MOVIE MONSTER! But you know what else is slow? Volcanoes, and they'll wreck anyone's shiet. Havel's shield has the best magic/fire/lightning defense in the game so those pansy magician PRICKS can cast their PISS SPELLS all day and you wouldn't care! The shield and the pyromancy Iron Flesh can also buff your buff *** armor even more! What better way to make up for your slow speed with MORE DEFENSE!!!

Rings: Ring of FaP/Ring of Steel protection: what? Too much defense for you, you LOSER! YOU CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THE TANK! DO YOU EVEN LIFT?!

Pyromancy: IRON FLESH TO MATCH YOUR IRON D-



Edit: Stay tuned for the Queen of Grief's poison/toxin build

Suddenly this kind of build is all the rage. They don't seem fun to play (for me, I mean), but I do look forward to being invaded by one. Never fought anything quite like this and seems like it could be entertaining. Definitely different from the norm, at least.

callipygias wrote:Suddenly this kind of build is all the rage. They don't seem fun to play (for me, I mean), but I do look forward to being invaded by one. Never fought anything quite like this and seems like it could be entertaining. Definitely different from the norm, at least.

I saw one, but he seemed to be a little concerned about not being too extreme, so I thought "...What if I make a tank that can only be described as "ridiculous""!?

I'm only level 50 right now, but so far it's pretty fun. I'm winning 80% of my fights. My only losses have been from people spamming lightning bolts(I'm using the stone shield due to lack of strength), some guy kicking me off a cliff because I'm too slow to attack back in time, and....actually that's it. Lightning bolt spam(that will be fixed once I get Havel's shield) and kicking.

i've done this. oh god... full giants with the steel ring and 99 humanity... i had 501 defense... katanas barely did 130 damage to me a hit, all this and i slapped on a great bow for those who ran away from my fatrolling fortress,
http://mugenmonkey.com/darksouls/?c=172296943772061854
i swithced the great bow in when needed, same with the pyro hand, i found you can actually fat roll through or away from most spells, even wog, but pyro was hard to avoid hence my lighter shield choice.

Obese Tank Wins!

This self-proclaimed tank veteran APPROVES! But still, try making a fast attacking tanker. Oh god, the horrors. Well, minus the ninja flips!