Corrupt a Wish: Dark Souls Style

Granted, they are six weak strings and will break easily.

I wish I was immortal in mind and body.

Granted, you have a knife designed for use by a butterfly.

An aside, your corruption wouldn't deter me.

I wish I had an orange pop.

I wish I was immortal in mind and body.

^ Granted, but no one else is imortal. You are studied by scientist around the world. You baffle them so much that they now beleive in religion. Some religions worship you as a god. Some of those religions fight over which god you are. Other religions think you are the devil and try to harm you and those that worship you. This eventually leads to World War Three. The fighting becomes so intense that some superpowers use their nuclear arsenal to bring a quick end to the war. This causes devistating destruction to the entire planet. Humanity is now doomed.

Darn, someone beat me! NOOOOO!

This page updates too fast. Someone else always posts while I'm still typing mine up!

This page updates too fast. Someone else always posts while I'm still typing mine up!

^ I know, but I still posted mine because I like it.

I wish my Spotify playlist filled itself with great songs.

Granted, but like all good web products, it eventually becomes overloaded with advertisement and its interface becomes an unintuitive piece of junk.

I wish we eradicated AIDS.

Granted, but that merely means that everyone lives in equal poverty, as they did in Maoist China.

I wish people wouldn't use hacks in Dark Souls.

Granted, they are now all too pro for us.

I wish there was no such thing as boredom.

Granted, but the lack of down-time causes minds to overload from the stress that fills in the gaps and everyone dies an early death, dooming humanity.

I wish that I had the combat skills of my best dark souls character.

Granted. But one day you'll try to put those skills to the test by invading a hostile country, and they'll have thousands of troops waiting to gank you at the border.

I wish I owned a private jet.

Granted, however, you are not in said group and promptly get your butt kicked.

I wish that I could do minecraft things in real life.

Granted but now every time night comes zombies come out and infect most of the world's population and your left alone with no one to build building with.

I wish I could stop wishing about the wishing wish fish.

Granted, but now you're entirely devoid of ideas and are thus disqualified from the game.

I wish that I could sacrifice Patches to link the fire instead of myself.

Granted but this causes you to become the only evil person in the world. A year after this happens you plan on destroying the planet and succeed. Now everyone is dead because everyone was nice enough not to stop you.

I wish something about a fish.

Granted, but you will never realize it was granted.

I wish necromancers would stop operating on this forum.

I...I cannot grant that...

^ Granted. Every thread is now copied at least 10 times.

I wish I had a pet griffin.