Corrupt a Wish: Dark Souls Style

Granted, however she steals your soul with her life hunt abilities, and you are a worthless husk to be discarded now.

I wish I had a ring which turned me fully invisible.

Slarg232 wrote:Granted, however she steals your soul with her life hunt abilities, and you are a worthless husk to be discarded now.

I wish I had a ring which turned me fully invisible.

GRANTED! next time you take the ring off though you catch all known STDs, cancer (of your genitals) and admited to a psych ward

I wish i had the DLC

Granted, but it comes with all the glitches which riddled the first release of the DLC, and From never bothers to fix it.

I wish that titanite was real.

morte wrote:Granted, but it comes with all the glitches which riddled the first release of the DLC, and From never bothers to fix it.

I wish that titanite was real.

Granted but you get encased in it han solo style.

I wish that my wish was uncorruptable and that gwyn was my father

Granted, Gwyn is your father, with Gwynevere being your mother.

I wish I had more lemonaide...

Granted but your stuck in a tank of lemonade and you eventually drown.

I wish Fluttershy.

Granted, Fluttershy dies in Season Four of MLP: FiM.

I wish I was better at DotA.

Slarg232 wrote:Granted, Fluttershy dies in Season Four of MLP: FiM.

I wish I was better at DotA.

Granted
You are forever an ember spirit and are raped by all masses of anything else

I wish we could get back on the topic of Dark Souls, (looks at intro, notices "All wishes must pertain to dark souls").

Dibsville wrote:

Slarg232 wrote:Granted, Fluttershy dies in Season Four of MLP: FiM.

I wish I was better at DotA.

Granted
You are forever an ember spirit and are raped by all masses of anything else

I wish we could get back on the topic of Dark Souls, (looks at intro, notices "All wishes must pertain to dark souls").

Granted! but people still go off topic every now and then, and it never ends. causing a tear in the space-time continuum that ends all known life.

I wish the barbarians in Blighttown didnt knock me over the edge causing me to lose 8 stored humanity :'(

Granted, the barbarians one shot you so you don't fall off the edge.

I wish Artorias wasn't killed by Manus.

Ezlare wrote:Granted, the barbarians one shot you so you don't fall off the edge.

I wish Artorias wasn't killed by Manus.

Granted
Artorias goes insane and kills Sif and all who ever loved him, the he kills Gwyn and links the fire so he can become a god then he dies because he didn't know he would die a deathly death.

I wish Priscilla was my wife.

Granted, it's a quickie divorce though since her only dialogue consists of her asking you to leave.

I wish the Gargoyle Tail Ax didn't look like it was going to chop me in half all the time.

skarekrow13 wrote:Granted, it's a quickie divorce though since her only dialogue consists of her asking you to leave.

I wish the Gargoyle Tail Ax didn't look like it was going to chop me in half all the time.

Granted
It now actually chops you in half, but you respawn at the bonfire with only half your body, and you spend the rest of your life in agony with your health slowly draining because you are bleeding out.

I wish I had 99 Divine Blessings

Granted, but these are special divine blessings, and they are only usable when you are fighting pinwheel.


I wish that I could talk to animals.

morte wrote:Granted, but these are special divine blessings, and they are only usable when you are fighting pinwheel.


I wish that I could talk to animals.

Granted
But you learn that the animals are plotting to kill all humans, and you are the first one on their hitlist

I wish Sanctuary Guardian was actually a fun fight.

Granted, but now everything in Dark Souls is boring by comparison.

I wish that I was independently wealthy.

morte wrote:Granted, but now everything in Dark Souls is boring by comparison.

I wish that I was independently wealthy.

Granted
But your wealth makes you go insane and you raip yourself(?)

I wish I was the chosen one...

Okay, what is with that last corruption?

Anyways, granted.

You now endure every bad thing that the hero has to go through in every story, and you're in an absolutely cynical setting (on the Sliding Scale of Cynicism versus Idealism) with Black and Grey Morality, meaning this is definitely a Crapsack World and the very best thing you can be is a Dark Messiah. This is all besides the parts where your friends are literally ripped apart in front of you, your significant other is r@&%$ to the point where s/he enjoys it and leaves you for your archenemy, (or in the case of Berserk, your best friend) and the antagonist of your story is an Anti-Villain that you really feel for. And this is all before you come to the final decision where you have to choose between a soul-crushing, apocalyptic ending and a lesser ending that may just be the other ending in disguise. (or everyone has to keep living in that world instead of being euthanized)

As awesome as stories are, I think being the protagonist of one is possibly the worst job imaginable because the entire appeal is the conflict-in other words, the bests stories inherently feature characters who's life sucks.

I wish I could walk on air.

Granted. You are unable to descend as trying to do so means you are still stepping on air. Eventually you either reach space and die or refuse to ascend and die of starvation.

I wish for nine more prism stone colors

Granted, but Prism Stones are the only item you can use whenever you play Dark Souls forever.

I wish I didn't have so many games as to lose track of them at inconveniant times.

^ This really isn't a problem for me

Granted! Now you use steam, but you missed all the sales!

I wish that I could see in the dark.

morte wrote:Granted! Now you use steam, but you missed all the sales!

I wish that I could see in the dark.

Granted
You learn that their are evil creatures in the dark and now you're afraid of the dark and your fear begins to consume you until you become a psychopath and die.

I wish Pinwheel was easy

Granted. You now seduce pinwheel because he is "easy"

I wish that I hadn't thought of that

skarekrow13 wrote: Granted. You now seduce pinwheel because he is "easy"

I wish that I hadn't thought of that

Granted
Pinwheel is mad because he was never loved and he takes out his rage on you by spawning billions of pinwheels and shanking you.

I wish you hadn't thought of that.