The "let it out" thread.

All I can say is I know those exact thoughts Reaper, and same feelings.

Wow Reaper, how did you find your way into my brain?  

I think you're over-analyzing. It happens when you're internally oriented, smart, and spending too much time by yourself. Go out and do something. Occupy your brain with something that doesn't entail you just sitting with your thoughts for a couple days. I bet you'll feel better.

And try not to place so much weight on trying to guess what other people are thinking about you. I know it's easier said than done, but what you think of yourself is infinitely more important anyway, especially when you're young, and really aren't responsible for anyone else. You are you're job, so work on that, be good to yourself, and who cares what other people have to say about it. It only gets easier with age. The older you get the more comfortable you generally get with yourself, at least in my experience, and it really stops mattering.

Set yourself as the baseline for awesome, if someone doesn't like you then they are less awesome and an idiot to be ignored. You may now do whatever you want, and only bother to deal with people at least as awesome as you, because they are the few who accept you as a whole. If they stop, they are now an idiot to be ignored and you were better off without them.

Basically, don't give a f**k.

Never done the whole self esteem/ external validation thing. I'm very smart and introspective. I only think of things worthy of note however, things I can change. I can NEVER change how someone feels about me. THEY decide how they feel, not me. As there is no predictable and repeatable way to decide how someone feels about me for them, giving the matter any further consideration is a waste of time. I've got fake stuff to earn in virtual worlds, why waste time with something I can't change.

^ This is all good advice.


So I had a facebook message from my ex-fiancee waiting for me when I woke up this morning. Haven't seen or spoken to her pretty much at all in almost 4 years, and now she suddenly wants to talk like nothing has changed. Wants to come over here in fact. The message verbatim is: "Hey I'm in town. Mind if I come by?" I think she must be delusional. I haven't answered it yet. I'm still trying to decide if I want to say anything at all.