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    Those Silver Knight Archers have a crappy job.

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    Post by bloodpixel Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:26 pm

    Artorias: I sure feel lonely.
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    Post by kiwi_commander Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:03 pm

    bloodpixel wrote:Artorias: I sure feel lonely.

    Meanwhile, In the Abyss:

    Kaathe: Hello...ello... ello... ello...
    Kaathe: Echo... cho... cho... cho...
    Kathe: I really miss Artorias... ias... ias... ias... ias...
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    Post by bloodpixel Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:16 pm

    kiwi_commander wrote:
    bloodpixel wrote:Artorias: I sure feel lonely.

    Meanwhile, In the Abyss:

    Kaathe: Hello...ello... ello... ello...
    Kaathe: Echo... cho... cho... cho...
    Kathe: I really miss Artorias... ias... ias... ias... ias...
    Four kings: You still got us.
    Kaathe: Shut up. You guys suck.
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    Post by cloudyeki Thu Apr 12, 2012 6:56 pm

    O: so I heard you got a penpal
    S: yeah, her names adjudicator. Don't you have one as well
    O: yeah, and from what she says she's gotta be SUPER hot. She's tall, kicks newbie ***, has followers, and can even use like 2 dozen spears at once. Her master even tamed a pair of dragons!
    S: cool, what's her name?
    O: Phalanx. She said she'll send a pic.
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    Post by ak1287 Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:06 pm

    cloudyeki wrote:O: so I heard you got a penpal
    S: yeah, her names adjudicator. Don't you have one as well
    O: yeah, and from what she says she's gotta be SUPER hot. She's tall, kicks newbie ***, has followers, and can even use like 2 dozen spears at once. Her master even tamed a pair of dragons!
    S: cool, what's her name?
    O: Phalanx. She said she'll send a pic.
    This wins it. All of it.
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    Post by cloudyeki Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:34 pm

    I aim to please
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    Post by Wade_Wilson Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:13 pm

    cloudyeki wrote:O: so I heard you got a penpal
    S: yeah, her names adjudicator. Don't you have one as well
    O: yeah, and from what she says she's gotta be SUPER hot. She's tall, kicks newbie ***, has followers, and can even use like 2 dozen spears at once. Her master even tamed a pair of dragons!
    S: cool, what's her name?
    O: Phalanx. She said she'll send a pic.

    This is the single funniest image I have ever conjured up in my life. Now image the Iron Golem chumming with the tower knight...
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    Post by bloodpixel Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:16 pm

    S: Wait, you haven't seen her yet?
    O: No.
    S: So it's a long distance relationship?
    O: No.
    S: Wait what?
    O: She's on the other side of that huge painting.
    S: ...That's a little too long of a distance...
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    Post by cloudyeki Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:24 pm

    T.K. : -and then I just flattened the guy with my shield, but enough about my last date, how've you been bro
    I.G. : crappy. This little guy in black iron keeps kicking me off of my roof.
    T.K. : shouldn't have bought that fortress like I said
    I.G. : yeah yeah, but it was cheap and has a great view. Hey what's that black sludge thing coming up?
    T.K. : that's phalanx. She hangs down there most of the time but every now and then comes up for advice.
    I.G. : advice?
    T.K. : yeah. Recently dating advice. Something bout a pen pal or something
    Phalanx: hey tower, can you help me out. I need a pic to send to my friend Oreo. :3 please?
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    Post by Yarxov Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:19 pm

    I'm surprised no one has made one for The Penetrator.
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    Post by ak1287 Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:28 pm

    Yarxov wrote:I'm surprised no one has made one for The Penetrator.
    I think it'd be too easy.... OR WOULD IT :suspect:
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    Post by cloudyeki Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:29 pm

    Stay tuned, I'm aiming to get all the bosses in on this story happy
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    Post by Buggy Virus Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:38 am

    Undead: Sorry I chopped off your tail
    Everlasting Dragon: . . .
    Undead: . . .
    Everlasting Dragon: . . .
    Undead: K. . . thanks for the dragon head, chao.
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    Post by bloodpixel Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:42 am

    Everlasting Dragon:.....................that hurt...
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    Post by Yarxov Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:37 am

    Everlasting Dragon: But it made me feel strangely real again...
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    Post by mugenis4real Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:30 am

    Damn. I give two silver knights names and now there's six pages of awesomeness lol
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    Post by Tolvo Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:42 am

    Black Knight: "Damnit, I just can't seem to get my hands on this stupid guy in a feathered hat!"
    Player: "Parry, Parry, Dodge, Dodge, Good!"
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    Post by cloudyeki Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:54 am

    Penetrator: *sigh* and then Biorr distracted me. Wanna know what it's like getting your friend's old spear rammed through your chest? It hurts. A lot. Specially the part where it tore apart my organs. Why would they make a barbed spear?! honestly.
    Garl: I hear ya bud. Maybe its karma. ya know. For all that impalin' ya do.
    Penetrator: *downs his drink* yeah yeah, like I haven't already heard that from Tower.
    Garl: I think you've had enough man.
    Penetrator: *breaks down*
    Garl: ah ah man, come on not here. Dude come on. Let's get you back to the palace. *takes Penetrator out of the bar*
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    Post by ViralEnsign_ Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:58 am

    At the latest Dark Souls Boss Support Group (BSG or short)

    Gaping Dragon- You guy think you have it tough. People cut off my tail for a stupid axe. I'd happily give it to them if they didn't freak out and start attacking me.

    Smough- Pah not even close man. People hate me so much they make the game harder for themselves by killing me first!

    Seath- Bah. You guys think you have it so bad. I'm freaking blind

    (Whole room goes quiet except for Nito, who was already very quiet)

    Gwyn- Sobbing in the corner* I'm supposed to be the end boss of the game and people keep making youtube clips of how much I suck....

    (Everyone goes to pat him on the back)
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    Post by Tolvo Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:01 am

    Nito: "Gwyn you don't have it that bad, most people beat me on their first try!"

    Seath: "Oh yeah, well people destroy my crystal, cut off my tail, then just poke me to death!"

    Bed of Chaos: "I'm actually pretty good on players."

    Gwyn: "You guys don't understand, you'll never feel the pain I've felt!"

    Seath: "Oh what, what is the problem Mr. Crybaby, what's so bad?"

    Gwyn: "DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY RIPOSTE ME!"

    *Everyone looks down suddenly.*
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    Post by ViralEnsign_ Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:04 am

    Tolvo wrote:Nito: "Gwyn you don't have it that bad, most people beat me on their first try!"

    Seath: "Oh yeah, well people destroy my crystal, cut off my tail, then just poke me to death!"

    Bed of Chaos: "I'm actually pretty good on players."

    Gwyn: "You guys don't understand, you'll never feel the pain I've felt!"

    Seath: "Oh what, what is the problem Mr. Crybaby, what's so bad?"

    Gwyn: "DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY RIPOSTE ME!"

    *Everyone looks down suddenly.*

    Nice but NEVER EVER blaspheme against Nito ever again Tolvo or I swear I'll get my protable wrestling ring ready!
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    Post by Railage Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:28 am

    Tolvo wrote:
    Bed of Chaos: "I'm actually pretty good on players."


    And with that you win a +1.
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    Post by Rynoa Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:34 am

    DoughGuy wrote:Gapig Dragon "So my twelfth tooth down, fourth tooth in, I think I got something stuck there"
    Dentist "Lemme just .. *plop* another broadsword! You really have to be careful with these adventurers, they're full of sharp metal bits that can get caught everywhere"
    Gaping Dragon "But they keep coming to my house and killing my cooks and freeing my dinner! What am I meant to do?"
    Dentist "Floss, a lot more. Helps get those little bits out. Now with the sword and the 15 cavities, you really should brush more often, that comes to 18,000 souls."
    Gaping Dragon "Here's 5 pround knights and 10 nameless soldiers"
    Dentist "Thank you and good day. Dont forget to floss!"

    I'm sure Gaping Dragon talks like:
    Gapig Dragon "Tho my twelfth tooth down, fourth tooth in, I think I got thomething thtuck there"
    ...
    Gaping Dragon "Here'th 5 pround knighth and 10 nameleth tholdierth"
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    Post by TehInfamousAmos Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:07 am

    Maneater 1: So what you doing up there Bobby
    Me2(Bobby): Nothin much Jeff, just waiting for that phantom to come back, he was pretty filling you know...
    Jeff: Oh look, there he is coming now
    Bobby: Watch out Jeff! He is firing arrows at you.
    Jeff: I cant move, he hasnt crossed our aggro line! HEY PHANTOM, MAN UP!!
    *Jeff Dies* Phantom walks in foggate to see Bobby Crying
    Bobby: Why'd you do that man! He was like a brother to me!
    *starts eating himself*
    Phantom: Uhh dude, dont you think its a bit wierd eating yourself?
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    Post by Tolvo Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:10 am

    Laurientus: "Hello, is anyone there? I hear some sort of metal clashing, I hear footsteps. Is someone running through water? Woah holy hell that was a loud thud, I hear more fighting. Knight, sir Knight are you out there! Wait, I hear a door, are you trying to find your way to me? Is anyone there?"

    Hours later.

    Laurientus: "Oh I hear you again, please come and help me she's going to eat me!"

    Hours pass.

    Laurientus: "Why does no one love me?"

    Maneater Mildred: "Oh crap, I forgot you were in here."

    Our friend from the great swamp on playthroughs where people never find him.

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