Thread of lame jokes.

NaBrO - ooooh another chemistry joke! I am rolling these in

A horse walks into a bar, the barman asks him what drink he would like, he doesnt reply - because he's a horse! Anti-jokes

A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.

"Morning!" he said.

The other man replies, "No, just having a crap."

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her F**king appendix out!"

I hope mine wasn't too dark, I forgot to turn off my imagination when typing that. :oops:

Rainwater appears to be leaking through the roof of my aviary.

It's really getting on my tits

haha it was fine Tolvo, now back to me posting many crap jokes

Right, Right Doctor who Joke...

"Now then" said the Doctor, "if you can remove your trousers and slip your underwear off for me... Thank you. And jump lightly on the spot.. good, good. Nice swing. Now if you can bend over this desk.. place your hands on top. Excellent. Hold still please, you will feel a little cold gel on your anus."

"Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you do this to all your assistants when they first visit the Tardis?"

Okay okay, Chemistry time.

A man walks into a bar with his friend. He says to the barman "I'll have some H2O". His friend then says "And I'll have some H2O too". They drank their drinks and his friend died.

Get it?


Next: Want to hear a joke about Sodium, "Na".
How about a joke about potassium, "K".

"Wait a second, you're a Necromancer? Like, you can raise dead bodies and make them do your bidding? That's awesome!"

"No no, you misheard me. I said NecRomancer, kind of like a Necrophile but we treat the bodies to dinner first."

What does a lamp-post and a football have in common?

Neither of them is a wrench.

Santa Claus

Hey, um im chris cringle.I'm a sex addict
Hey im Santa Claus, im the king of the snow, I hate my wife because she's a ho ho ho. She used to please me everyday till she made it clear, Santas only supposed to cum once a year. F**cking B***h.
Now i buy whores, rock and roll and i stuff their stockings with my north pole...

Tony the Tiger

Im, uh hey im Tony the Tiger.
Everyday I wake up I get to work late
my boss says "Hey whats up" , I say "Im Grrrrrr-owing tired of this crap"
the kids they laugh cause im a sensitive cat
"Hey big *****" I cant argue with that.
If another kid gives me frosted flakes
I swear on my life I'll eat his parents.

Man walks into a bar shovel.

Oh yeah....

My name used to end in "ski" until my wife spilled some polish remover

Two high-rise buildings sit in the cellar knitting some gasoline. Who's the killer?

No one - submarines don't have gills!

hheheheehehee

Q: If you're rowing an organ upside down against a pillar of frozen silly worms, how many flapjacks will it take to cover a doghouse?

A: Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.

Reaperfan wrote:Q: If you're rowing an organ upside down against a pillar of frozen silly worms, how many flapjacks will it take to cover a doghouse?

A: Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.

Spoiler:

All of my what.

Let's just take all these bad chemistry jokes and barium.

LordRevan wrote:Let's just take all these bad chemistry jokes and barium.

That reminds me of a good one.

Why do scientists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Micky and Miney mouse were in divorce court.

The Judge looks over the papers and says
"Micky, you say here you want the divorce because you say your wife is crazy?"
Micky says, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was ****ing Goofy."

Why is this topic not 50 pages long? Lame jokes are best jokes.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive?









BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!

And more chemistry jokes!

So Argon walks into a bar, and the bartender said: "You're fat, ugly, and stupid."

Argon dosen't react.

Here's a kind of Biology based one for you.

Three pregnant women are sitting, knitting sweaters for their unborn children, in a waiting room in hospital, about to get their scans (Dont ask which one).

The first woman of the three then pops out a pill, and swallows it. The other two go "What was that?", and she responds, "It's calcium, because I want my child to have strong bones".

The second woman then pops out a pill and swallows it. The other two ask about this one, and she says "It's iron, as I want my baby to be big and strong" The other women nod and go back to knitting.

Finally, the third woman swallows a pill, and the other two ask about it. The women replies "It's thalidomide, because I can't get the damn arms on this sweater to work".

Badum dum tsch!